Polyintimacy has a variety of definitions, but my definition is...."any practice in which one person may have relationships with more than one person, which are more emotionally intimate than the type of interaction normally associated with friendships and family, and which may be consistent with some definitions of the term `love.' Intimate is defined as...1. belonging to or characterizing one's deepest nature; 2. marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity and 3. of a very personal or private nature.
Intimacy is defined as....1. emotional warmth and closeness; 2. sexual relations; 3. something that is very personal and private — usually plural. Funny how sex gets brought into the equation even though the word intimacy was derived from the word intimate, which has nothing to do with sex. I have to laugh when Angelina and I shop at the "intimate apparel" section of a department store. LOL Actually, I can say with relative surety that sex that is intimate is the exception to the rule. Most people I know that have sex and/or love addictions (almost everyone), have never been addicted to intimate sex and love. Some may never have even experienced it. Pornography, Strip Clubs, Prostitution, Swinging, Obsession, Casual Sex, Fantasy Masturbation, Massage Parlors, etc. have nothing to do with intimacy. I don't judge any of it but these are the things people most often get addicted to. Not quality, intimate, sexual relationships.
The definition of intimate itself would foster a sense of self worth, connection and safety. These are exactly opposite of what someone that becomes addicted feels. As I experience deeper and deeper levels of emotional/sexual sobriety, I'm getting more and more in touch with what I've truly been longing for my whole life. A true sense of connection to myself and the world, self worth and a sense of safety in expressing my thoughts and feelings. Recently at a mixed 12 step meeting, I realized, as I heard the other men and women sharing their experience, strength and hope, that this deep, open, transparent fellowship had triggered a profound sense of oneness, which is beginning to fill the "love-shaped hole" that I've had as long as I can remember. This is the true polyintimacy I've been longing for.
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