Over The Hill and Thankful For It!

On Feb. 15th of this year I started my 50th year of life.  This is often called "over the hill".  One definition is " Past the peak of one's youthful vigor and freshness". While I admit that some shifts have occurred in my body that make excercise, attitude and diet more of a priority these days, in many ways I feel fresher than ever.  I look at the first 50 years of my life as a time of hard work, tilling the soil, selfishness, discovering myself, addiction work, relationship yoga and an overall sense of "what the hell does this all mean".  Now I feel like my garden is bearing rich fruit.  Even my relationship with my beloved twin flame of 10 years truly did not begin to bear the richest fruit until this last year.  Even the passion has become richer which I would never have believed.  I was always under the impression that when the love drugs and romantic intrigue were replaced with security, comfortability and trust, that much of the fire would die.  While I admit, a version of this did occur,  I had no idea what was waiting on the other side of 9 years of conscious commitment.  Holy Canolli!  Our love life reached a new peak and I believe part of it is getting "over the hill"(btw, she still has another year before she starts her 50th).  I like to think of it as riding a bike.  Aren't we all happy to get "over the hill" so we can coast a bit more, enjoy the ride, stop and smell the roses and know what works and doesn't??  Sure a stong apple tree full of energy is a sight to behold, but until it bears apples, it's not near as fulfilling.  "Over the hill" is also the time that many careers become prime. That is unless you're in Hollywood, but even that is changing for the better as the public recognizes the richness of being older.  Most of us are well aware that aging improves wine and cheese. lol  For us, this is the most exciting time of our career too.  "Past my peak??, no way baby, I'm just getting started!!!!!  Here's to embracing being "Over the Hill". Happy Thanksgiving to us all.

Death Penalty: Humane or Sin

Well, I was inspired by the men in my weekly men's group to share my thoughts and feelings on this super-controversial issue.  Obviously there is a lot of energy around this topic.  There are some interesting ironies around the topic. Many "christians" who believe the bible is to be taken literally are super in favor of the death penalty even though one of the ten comandments says "thou shalt not kill".  Many "non-christians" who don't believe in the bible are against it. When I ponder the issue, I ask myself  "what do I believe is best for humanity?"  This is not based upon religion, dogma or the fact that I lean toward the liberal side of politics.  I just go inside and ask my feelings and higher self for guidance.  We just watched a show recently where they talked to the woman that drowned her 5 children a few years back.  She claimed that she did it because she was guided to do so and that she believed that it would be best for her and everyone if she were put to death.  This is obviously a tormented soul who appears to be incapable of rehabilitation. Still, the system keeps her in prison against her will and the will of anyone who believes in the death penalty.  To me it's not black and white AND I feel that anyone in prison who feels a danger to society and would like to "check out" permanently should be given that opportunity. I also am very much in favor of the death penalty for mass murderers ie. Jim Jones, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, Hanibal Lector types since they are a constant danger to other prisoners, guards, wardens etc and I truly believe that anyone willing to take part in that behavior is deeply tormented and would be receiving a favor to be put out of their misery.  I know this may bother some of you AND I'm open to changing my mind if I were enlightened to another view that made more humane sense to me.  Ultimately, I think it's a personal opinion and society as a whole should decide what it feels is the most humane thing to do.  One last thing: there is also an argument that "what if innocent people die because of the death penalty?"  Well, I don't really think that's a fair argument since everything we do has the potential to adversely affect innocent people.  Do we stop putting people in jail because there is the potential for innocent people to go?  Do we stop driving because there is a chance that people will die?  I know I'm putting myself out here but I also believe that 2012 is about transparency so here it is folks.!!!

From Abuse to Freedom

Today we watched another Oprah show on male childhood sexual abuse. Amazing statistics of 1 in 6 males.  It was painful and inspiring to see 200 men come out and reveal their painful secrets.  I revisited my own physical and emotional abuse by my primary childhood caretakers and was humbled by how much less trauma I experienced since my abuse was so much less severe. Still,  all abuse appears to have the same effect of instilling an unworthiness in it's "victims".  I believe that part of 2012 is this exposure as all lies are coming to the surface fast.  Forgiveness of the perpetrator, and ultimately one's self, seems to be the biggest challenge AND affords the greatest healing.  In the old testament we were told "AN EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH". Well this just left everyone blind and toothless.  Then we were told "TURN THE OTHER CHEEK". but this often feels like enabling and co-dependent.  I"ve always thought that we need to learn to firmly say "NO", "turn the other cheeks" and leave the abusive situation.  Unfortunately, children don't often have that opportunity since they have been convinced to feel so much shame and self blame and often are not believed when they come forward.  Forgiveness is the antidote for shame, especially self-forgiveness.  I always thought I could do it on my own but realized later that I needed help in order to find a way to release the shame, guilt, vindictiveness and anger towards the person that most hurt me.  I felt so afraid of her that I just wanted her to die.  I had been working on this for 14 years with only partial success until I signed up to take the Hoffman Quadrinity Process.  Somehow that work was able to short circuit my faulty DNA so I could let go of the old patterns, thoughts, emotions and feelings that prevented me from fully forgiving.  I was finally able to "let go of the hope that the situation could have been different".  Now my former foe is one of my best friends.  I convinced her to take the process, funded it with Angelina and now miracles happen with her and me almost every day. 

May we all realize that we are innocent.  May we all realize that we have nothing to be ashamed of. May we all realize that there are no "bad people" just people that are taking out their pain and shame on others.  They too need healing.  May we all recognize how WORTHY  we are to experience Heaven On Earth NOW! May we all "heal the shame that binds us".!

Monogamy vs Polyamory. Religion or Spirituality?

For those of you unfamiliar with the term "polyamory", it's often referred to as "responsible non-monogamy". Unfortunately, I've rarely experienced polyamory as truly responsible. Just as I've rarely seen monogamy free of control and jealousy.  Let me start by saying that I don't believe in either of these lovestyles any more than I believe in the rightness of any  religion.  I believe in Spirituality and Relationship and the forms these take is to me, purely personal. 

Since I was 18, I pretty much related to the polyamorous lifestyle.  This was in part because of my ability to love romantically more than one woman at a time and my desire to conquer jealousy. It was also mixed with an inability to commit intimately to anyone and because of what I realized later had become a full blown addiction to the highs of new relationship and romantic intrigue.  Again, I'm not saying anything derogatory about any lovestyle or spiritual choice, only that when it becomes a religion, it becomes suspect. 

Most of what I've seen from people that strongly identify as monogomous or polyamorous is fear based.  This was certainly true for me.  It took me until June 15th of 2007 to realize that if I were to pursue my deep desire for intimacy with Angelina, enjoy freedom from addiction and have the joyous, simple, peaceful relationship that I had glimpsed, I'd have to let go of my need for romantic freedom and replace it with real love which is always about choice.  I chose monogamy not because I believe in it but because I believe in Angelina and the love we are capable of.  Sure I could go into all the reasons that she "needs monogamy" but that's not my job.  My job is to look at my stuff and do the inner work.

Similary I choose "New Thought" as my spiritual choice not because I believe in any particular religion but because New Thought allows me to explore MY spirituality in an open inclusive way.  Are there New Thought Fundamentalists that have made it a religion that separates?  Of course, but is is not my job to fix that anymore than someone should reject their connection to Islam because of the radical extremist terrorists that identify as Islamics. 

Ultimately, I'm just ME learning each day to open my heart more, get more humble and appreciative And remember to put my Spirituality and Humanity first and all shall be added unto me.

George W and Oprah together again!

Last night we watched GW being interviewed on the Oprah show.  We were blown away by the mutual respect. The same mutual respect occurred when Sarah Palin was on the Oprah show months ago. I have not been a GW fan.  I have judged him and his actions.  Last night I became a fan.  Not the politics, not the opinions but the intrinsic nature of him as a fellow american, child of the Universe, man/husband/father with human frailties.  As I watched I thought, "what would I think if I hadn't eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil".  I realized that I would actually like him, find him funny, humble, passionate and caring. Even authentic which I hadn't seen before. He made fun of himself a lot and that really turns me on.  I realize that the more I accept my "complete self", the more I am able to accept everyone else completely.  I also realize I have no f'ing clue as to what it would be like to be him, afraid for the wellbeing of America and having to listen to so many advisors etc, holding the blame for every action the government took during his 8 years and now even much of what is happening now.  Knowing that every man and woman that gave their lives in Iraq are somehow on his conscience.  I feel compassion for him.  His family seems very kind and they love him.  He must be much more than my small mind imagined.  As we move into possibly the most uncertain, powerful times of our lifetime, I believe we are being called upon to find the areas that we are connected to others, letting go of our differences.  This is often called the "vesica pisces" since it is the place where two circles meet.  I commit to opening my heart to more conservative view points.  I commit to realizing that intelligent folks are on all sides of the political, moral fences and that none of it is black and white.  I commit to seeing the Christ/Buddha/Beloved in all of humanity even though many of them think I'm insane and idealistic. 

The Power of WHY!

I am so enthused about a wonderful tool that I learned from a dear friend.  She put it in an audiobook called "Orchestrating the Symphony of our Cells" that is available on our website.  Anyway, I wanted to share the basic premise so people may start benefitting from this tool that Angelina and use daily and has added much joy and manifestation into our lives.  Have you ever noticed that everyone that uses the phrase "why me?" seems to attract more of what they are asking about?  I certainly have noticed that when I stopped asking why unpreferred things happened to me and started focusing upon what I loved and desired, everything shifted in my world for the better. That leads me to believe that WHY has amazing power.  Anyway, according to OTSOOC, there is a wonderful way to use the amazing power of "WHY" to create more of the life we desire.  So we started saying "why is there so much harmony in our lives?" "why is money flowing so easily to me?" "why do we deserve to have all our dreams come true?" "why our our computors working so smoothly?' etc.  Anyway, not only do we feel immediately more at peace just saying positive things after WHY, we also noticed overwhelming evidence that it was actually enlisting parts of our brain and the law of attraction to answer the question in manifestation and support. Why is that? lol

2012 The Time of Enoughness

Well, this was my very first blog and I'm excited to share it again. Today I got another strong message that we are being called to step into our "enoughness".  This is on a personal and material level.  How can we move into a new era of consciousness if we are still holding on to old patterns of "not enoughness"?  Whatever it takes for us to realize that we are one with the infinite and are and have always been "good enough", MUST BE DONE.  It's also time to let go of the constant pursuit of more stuff.  I find these two are very tied together. The less we feel enough, the more stuff we try to acquire to compensate for this emptiness.  Angelina and I often look at what we have in our lives, check to see if it meets our needs or is superfluous.  In Joe Dominguez' amazing book, "Your Money or Your Life", he clearly shows how more material possessions, after reaching one's "fulfillment peak", actually usually decrease one's fulfillment. Angelina and I have found that less stuff, which often leads to more freedom and savings, adds up to more peace.

On her last year on the air, Oprah had several guests that struggled for 40 years or more with not enoughness and how liberated they were when they fully accepted themselves for who they are.  Notably Ricky Martin, Portia De Rossie Degeneres, and Jane Fonda. Please join us as we embrace "Enoughness" and regain our priorities of health, happiness, simplicity and relationships.  Your comments are always welcome.

Since I wrote this, we have had to reduce our expenses by 40% to compensate for our reduced income. This was very challenging because we had become attached to the money, giving and lifestyle we had enjoyed for a decade. We are now realizing more than ever what truly is "enough".  We have recommitted to the idea that: our committed relationship is enough; our income is enough; our church and event career is enough, regardless of how many people show up or how much money we make; our physically changing youthfulness is enough;  our simple home and material possessions are enough; our savings is enough. In summary, we are embracing more and more that WE ARE ENOUGH!!