Anger is a lot like urine. Why do you think we call being angry "pissed off?" One of the biggest challenges with being human is learning how to deal with anger. To me it's pretty simple when compared to urine. It must be released. It stinks. If we hold it in we get backed up and will damage ourselves. It should never be released onto someone. It should never be released onto ourselves.
A wonderful tool we learned from Greg Baer's Real Love teachings goes something like this. When you a feeling angry towards another person, do not take that out on them. Usually you will need to get away from them quickly. If it's someone close to you, you might say, "I need some time away for now. I love you as much as ever and I need to take care of something before we discuss this." Find a neutral person who can hear your anger without taking it personally. Let them know how you feel. As they are present to you, you will be releasing the anger in a healthy way but not on anyone. If you start to beat yourself up, remind yourself that you are lovable even when you are pissed off. As you release the anger, you allow yourself to get filled back up with love, acceptance and understanding. From this place, you are better able to deal with the person you were previously angry with and maybe set some boundaries and/or discuss the situation in an effective way.
Telling someone that you are angry, disappointed or resentful with them is similar to urinating on them. It will never make the situation better. Find a way to release the anger in a clean, emotionally sanitary way.
