How Are Pain Bodies like Scared Dogs?
Have you ever known someone that you absolutely adored, yet if you spent too much time or had too much intimate communication with them, there was volatile conflict? This is what has inevitably happened time and time again with my surrogate mother for about 48 years. In December of 2012, we mutually agreed to keep our communications to a minimum and have had no conflict since and only very loving communications.
But what if you don't want to just be casual friends with someone with whom you have this triggering pain body dynamic. This will require much finesse, self-care, courage and compassion. Volatile conflict is the result of unhealed or unidentified pain bodies. Imagine that these pain bodies are like scared dogs. You and your friend absolutely adore each other and you each have one of these scared dogs with you at all times. Sometimes the dog is locked up. Sometimes it is free to roam and other times it is on a leash. The trick is to make sure these scared dogs don't get too close to each other because there will be a fight and most likely some emotional, mental or even physical bloodshed. If either party had a healed pain body, the other dog would have nothing to fight with. Some people's scared dog is free to roam and unidentified, and will bark and bite anyone at anytime. Unfortunately, unless we are fully healed of our pain bodies, other people's dogs are gonna find ours and pick a fight. For most of us, our scared dogs are either locked away/unidentified or leashed/identified. As long as everyone involved has identified their pain bodies and are conscious of how to keep them on a short leash while healing them, they will be able to have intimate conscious loving relationship.
This is serious relationship yoga and I am only just beginning to learn to navigate these waters. Fortunately with Angelina, our pain bodies rarely fight with each other. This is what I call complementary pain bodies vs. triggering pain bodies. Most of my friends are complementary with me and I have often avoided or run away from those people which were too triggering. I realize that I did this to protect myself, which in many cases prevented me from becoming more conscious and healed. I now choose to practice scared animal taming with those with triggering pain bodies as long as the other parties involved are also equally committed to this practice.
I will keep you posted as to how this new awareness develops. Thank you Thank you to all my triggers for they continue to inspire me to heal and fully embrace my scared dog.
But what if you don't want to just be casual friends with someone with whom you have this triggering pain body dynamic. This will require much finesse, self-care, courage and compassion. Volatile conflict is the result of unhealed or unidentified pain bodies. Imagine that these pain bodies are like scared dogs. You and your friend absolutely adore each other and you each have one of these scared dogs with you at all times. Sometimes the dog is locked up. Sometimes it is free to roam and other times it is on a leash. The trick is to make sure these scared dogs don't get too close to each other because there will be a fight and most likely some emotional, mental or even physical bloodshed. If either party had a healed pain body, the other dog would have nothing to fight with. Some people's scared dog is free to roam and unidentified, and will bark and bite anyone at anytime. Unfortunately, unless we are fully healed of our pain bodies, other people's dogs are gonna find ours and pick a fight. For most of us, our scared dogs are either locked away/unidentified or leashed/identified. As long as everyone involved has identified their pain bodies and are conscious of how to keep them on a short leash while healing them, they will be able to have intimate conscious loving relationship.
This is serious relationship yoga and I am only just beginning to learn to navigate these waters. Fortunately with Angelina, our pain bodies rarely fight with each other. This is what I call complementary pain bodies vs. triggering pain bodies. Most of my friends are complementary with me and I have often avoided or run away from those people which were too triggering. I realize that I did this to protect myself, which in many cases prevented me from becoming more conscious and healed. I now choose to practice scared animal taming with those with triggering pain bodies as long as the other parties involved are also equally committed to this practice.
I will keep you posted as to how this new awareness develops. Thank you Thank you to all my triggers for they continue to inspire me to heal and fully embrace my scared dog.
Armand, very well put, a good insight. I have very few of these in my life but am always glad to be triggered to work on something I thought was long gone. Blessed be the scared animals I allow to trigger my pain body so I may heal whatever is at issue. I don't heal myself alone, it takes the village. Thank you Armand, for your honesty and openness and willingness to share your journey, with all its twists and turns. it gives us all the courage to do the same.
ReplyDeleteThanks Andrea. We are all in this together. I think I am aware of a triggering pain body in your life. LOL
ReplyDelete