OK, now that I have your attention, this applies to women and men but in different ways. For men it often appears that when the 2nd chakra is engaged, the upper does not function as well. For women it often appears that when the 1st chakra is engaged, the upper does not function as well. Although some of this is basic survival instinct, much of it is due to other circumstances which can be overridden. Firstly, we rarely are in survival mode like our animal/limbic brain would have us believe, so most of this is old worn-out software that tries to stress us in to believing we are in real danger when we are not.
The less obvious reason for this apparent dis-connect is "addiction". Almost everyone is addicted to some substance, behaviour, pattern, thought process etc. Unfortunately, the addiction's need for satisfaction will override all other thoughts and behaviours until the addiction is recognized, refused it's drug and dis-identified from. Even then, deeper mental/emotional vacancies will need to be addressed.
In my case, I can look at almost all the pain that was experienced by the people in my life and it is related to romantic/sexual behaviour. As I have been examining my motives, it had very little to do with my 2nd chakra, "little brain", being Italian, high testosterone, etc. It had everything to do with a God Shaped Hole that developed in early childhood that seemed to vanish when engaging in romantic/sexual behaviour. This seeming solution created the "dis-ease" or "unhealthy brain receptors" that craved satisfaction at the sacrifice of everything else. In some ways it's similar to a diabetic that needs insulin to function, the addiction "dis-ease" needs it's drug to function. I believe that 90% or more of men and women suffer from some form of love and/or sexual addiction. (unconfirmed except by experience. LOL)
Fortunately, addiction dis-ease can be rendered powerless where other physical dis-eases are often just managed with drugs etc. Addiction is rarely ever managed effectively. Until we abstain completely from the thoughts and behaviours that feed it, it will still be in charge. Even then, unless we learn to fill the God Shaped Hole with something that gives us a true sense of well being and enoughness, the "dis-ease" will haunt us to act out again and again.
(the following is approved by Angelina)
Angelina can trace most of her suffering to the belief "I am not strong enough to ask for what I want". This was certainly true in her first marriage and also true of our first 6 years together. During that time we had an open-relationship which meant that we were free to engage with others as long as it was honest and fit our personal agreements with each other. Because this was my idea and she only went along with it because she wanted to support me, there was quite a bit of pain associated with this lovestyle. When we examined her pain, it was rarely about what I was doing and mostly to do with what she made it mean, like "what if he leaves me for another?"; "what if he likes her better?", "why am I'm not enough for him?" "why can't I stand up to him and demand monogamy" etc. She eventually realized that she did not want that lovestyle, would find a way to be happy without me and gave me a choice between her or the lovestyle.
At that time, I was so heavily influenced by the dis-ease, that I could not fathom ever being happy or fullfilled without the drug. Fortunately, I simultaneously realized that I would never find a person that was more perfect for me than Angelina so I chose monogamous misery. After 1 year of abstinence, I found a happiness never before achieved or imagined. Can you see how addiction lies to us? Unfortunately, I was merely "managing" my addiction so this really didn't fix the problem, it just alleviated the symptoms AND gave Angelina what she wanted. Unfortunately, the "dis-ease" resented the heck out of her for taking away it's drug and the resentment did not go away until I went deeper. (see earlier blog on Romance and Sexual Addiction).
So here I am, going to Sex and Love Addiction meetings, filling the God Shaped Hole with Love, Acceptance and Knowing, abstaining from all thoughts that would feed the addiction, and feeling more free than I ever thought possible. For the first time in my life, I don't even want that high any more, even if Angelina OK'd it because I finally see how much more painful feeding the addiction is than abstinence.
So, there is plenty of blood to support every healthy, natural part of us. Unfortunately, addictions are more powerful than our human ability to deal with them and most of us will need a Higher Power to move us from "Slavery to Freedom"
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