Oh no, I'm going into "sacred cow" territory again. I am reminded of all the buttons that got pushed when I exposed the "dark side" of being "proud of" someone. Anyway, this is what comes to me and my guidance is to share it in hopes to possibly shine a new, thought-provoking light on our dear friend....Gratitude. I have lived by the saying "everything has a front and a back" which I first heard from John Demartini who many know from "The Secret". It has been really helpful for me when my EGO wanted to make absolutes about anything. Thinking something is going to be all enjoyable sets us up for disappointment. Can you say marriage??? Thinking something is going to be all miserable prevents us from getting the gift in the discomfort. Can you say divorce??? Here's an example...No-one really likes feeling ill and I have found that focusing on how miserable I feel makes the experience much more uncomfortable versus thinking and saying that I'm going through a healing crisis that is ultimately going to make my body, mind and Spirit stronger than ever. The latter creates an energy of acceptance and peace. As Angelina and I step into the often scary place of the unknown with our career, our motivation comes from the inner knowing that our old career no longer serves us fully. The thought of continuing to play at churches full time for love offerings, with no guarantee of how many will show up at our concerts, causes my stomach to tighten up. This doesn't mean we are not extremely grateful for the last 10 years for her and 15 years for me. This has been the most amazing, prosperous, fully self expressed career of our lives. Still, we have been getting guidance to move into other avenues of service and expression for several years now. While meditating yesterday, I asked a question that went something like "what took us so long to make this decision?" The answer was very clear...."Fear and Gratitude!" Well I totally get the fear part. Here we have a career that we know how to do. Doing something else will be scary on some level. We will have to leave our "New Thought Bubble" where we know people will get us. We know at churches we are loved and appreciated and even though product sales plummeted in August of 2009 and have not fully returned to where they were during the "Bush Years".(just a joke, don't freak please), we were still able to make a comfortable living doing something we loved. We also know we are being of service to 10's of thousands of receptive folks. How does it get any better than that? How many folks would love to be able to say that? We have nothing to complain about! If this is what we have to do forever, that's good enough. We are soooo grateful for this amazing opportunity to do what we love together and make a living doing it. How dare we be anything less than grateful and appreciative for all we have. Aha! I see it now. Although gratitude is one of the foundations of our lives and one of the main subjects of our ministry, the EGO can easily use it for it's own devices. Our gratitude for how blessed we are can also hinder us if used as an excuse to keep doing what we're doing even if it no longer feels right. Anything that can dis-empower us needs to be brought to the light so that's what I'm doing with Gratitude. Here's another example....Angelina stayed in her first marriage for about 7 years. She says that after about 3 1/2 years, she knew that her wasband was no longer "that into her" (I still don't get that one). The romance continued to fade, respect diminished and they became more and more like roommates. He wasn't even wealthy! lol Most people, especially those without kids, would have been "outta there". What Angelina has that most don't, is an incredible feeling of gratitude for life. She lives in gratitude. During the "non-wonder years" of her marriage, she focused upon what she was grateful for...her golden retrievers, her Unity church and minister Bob Marshall (paging Dr. Freud), her wasband's work ethic and ability to provide for them, the fact that he was not physically abusive and that many women around the world would trade places with her right now. How dare she not be appreciative. Again, the EGO can use our grateful nature to keep us stuck where sometimes a bit of "anger" and "nonacceptance" can motivate us. I've heard this called "The Divine Discontent" and is often credited as a step towards transcendence and mysticism. Another version would be "there must be something more" which Belle so eloquently sang in Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I can't believe that just came up because I've often thought that our relationship paralleled that movie. Here Angelina leaves her respectable world, the one her parents really were "proud of her" for having. LOL Where she was apparently financially secure (we ended up with credit card debt from that facade,ha), with a corporate husband, a Lexus, a Suburban and Insurance. Oh My God!! She leaves that and runs off with a guy with no insurance, a mini-van, long hair, no savings, no paycheck, multiple addictions and for God's sake, his shoes don't even match. Somehow, by the Grace of God and a hell of a lot of oxytocin (the love drug), none of this mattered to her and eventually, she tames the Beast and they live "Happily Ever After"..........the beginning!
God I'm grateful!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment