The Buck Stops Here or...It's All About Me!

I have noticed that any time I'm upset over something or someone, it ends up being about me. As I've been processing a painful ending to a 29 year co-dependent relationship with another couple,  I've noticed that my "spiritual path" has not been able to bring me to peace the way it usually does.  Last night I started meditating on this and was able to get some insights.  The dialogue between self and Self went like this .......
Why am I hurting?
You  are judging.
Who am I judging?
The couple.
What am I judging?
Their lack of honesty with you, anger towards you and lack of support of you.
I already have accepted those things in them.
Not fully because you haven't accepted those things in you.
What you talkin' bout Willis?
If you look deeply, you'll see that you posess all of that energy towards them too.
Ouch, I didn't see that but you're right. I've been pretending to have positive feelings for them for years when deep down, I f%@#ing can't stand them. I have supported them though, haven't I?
You've supported them in some ways but you have not fully accepted them for how they have showed up in your life.
Damn, that's true. How come Spirituality hasn't been able to override this for me?
Spirituality is available to give perspective, understanding and guidance to what you are conscious of. It cannot help you with what you don't know that you don't know.  You were pretending to be loving but deep down you were judging so until you owned that, you would always suffer and they would always end up doing/reflecting something to you that would trigger this suffering.
Wow, that is very helpful.  Now I feel even worse about the way I have been with them especially recently when I told them off in an email.
Good, you are conscious of what you are feeling and now you can use your Spiritual tools to change your thoughts.  Knowing you,  you'll do that very quickly. Now it's time to forgive yourself and them completely, (remember, you are them and they are you) knowing that you all did your best and the only thing that you could at the time.  Forgiving them will be the easy part but letting yourself off the hook for doing and thinking what you believed was beneath you will take some courage. This is your pride and it does not serve you.  You are a spiritual teacher because that's what you came here to do. Not because you are supposed to be more or less than anyone else. Remember, all are equal and no-one need have any more pressure upon them to do what they came here to do than anyone else.  When you say, "I'm more spiritual than this",  you are effectively saying "it's OK for them to be that way because they are inferior to me".  When you can have equal compassion for everyone and yourself, you'll be able to embrace your "I'm not proud of myself or anyone else" philosophy more fully.
Ouch!  OK, more self forgiveness. I get it. Thank you.
Anytime my friend.   BTW, I'm You, I'm God, I AM. LOL

So once again I'm reminded that the Buck Stops Here!  While Angelina and I were in Vegas in December, we saw a girly pink shirt with rhinestones that said "It's All About Me".  Although the makers may not have been consciously aware of how true that statement is, we both said "that pretty much sums up consciousness".