The Dance of F.E.A.R. and F.A.I.T.H.

I've heard that FEAR stands for Forgetting Everything's All Right and that FAITH stands for Feeling Alright In The Heart.  Sure it's just a clever way of looking at it but when I get down to my truth, it feels right on for me. 

For the last 5 months, I've been dancing with these a lot.  I stopped booking churches last April in order to leave the calender open to reach a larger audience, and do something new and more financially lucrative.  Unfortunately, as the old career wound down, our hopes and dreams of replacement bookings did not happen. We spent all of this month "between careers" and that time off gave our minds wonderful opportunities to dig up old fears.  I say dig up because I don't believe that they are new, just dormant for the last 7 years since we always had work, money and a sense of financial security.

Here's what fear brought to the table:

1. What's gonna happen to us financially?
2. Why are no agents getting back to us?
3. Where did I go wrong?
4. What good am I if I can't provide financially for my wife and self?
5. Will I have to go back to full time churches even though my heart's no longer into it?
6. Do we really have something special to share with the world or am I delusional?

I have been dancing with those thoughts more and more lately and truthfully, fear has often taken the lead. Angelina and I even had some rare disconnection because of my lack of enthusiasm to vigorously pursue work and the "almighty dollar" the way I have done my whole life.  Fortunately I was able to not take this too personally as I would have done in the past.  The good news is that each dance with fear is an opportunity for me to observe and heal some old patterns that are coming up to be released.

Here's what FAITH brought to the table:

1. Haven't you always been provided for?
2. There's no such thing as rejection, just life pointing us in another direction.
3. What part of patience do you not understand?
4. Your worth is not valued by what you do. It's automatically valued by who you are!
5. Don't worry about the future, just take it one day at a time.
6. You came together for a special, romantic, musical reason.  Trust and allow that to unfold.
7. Use this time to love yourself more.
8. You deserve this time of rest and relaxation.
9. How would you feel if this were possibly your last year to live?
10. Everything is as it should be.
11. All is Well!!

Well, today I could feel FAITH taking the lead for the first time in several weeks. I realize that by allowing myself to embrace the unknown, I have been able to identify many old beliefs and patterns that were sabatoging my peace and joy.  I have also been able to get in touch with an inner knowing and trust that brings me closer to Spirit.  Yes it's been painful, but on the other end of that, there appears to be a deeper connection with Truth. 

May we all find Peace within the chaos as 2012 appears to bring to the surface much of what we've all avoided, through relationship drama, health issues, climate changes, addiction awareness and economic instability.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!!