The Gift in Humiliation

Last night was the first good night's sleep I've had for a few days.  It's been quite a while since I had "crazy voices in my head" and it was anything but comfortable.  This is all the result of a recent experience (details not important) that was probably the most humiliating experience of Angelina's and my life. Certainly, the most humiliated we've ever been at the same time.  As I have been able to disidentify from the event,  I more and more recognize that "my ego" is what is perceiving the humiliation, rather than the "I" per se.  In a weird way, I have felt stronger than ever.  I looked up the word and it said....leads to a state of being humbled, abasement of pride.  I thought..."those can really be good things". It feels awesome to be humbled (not always one of my strong suits)lol because I feel closer to God when my ego is humbled. Humiliation can be a path to humility, defined as "lack of false pride.  Pride is also something that can lead to separation, superiority/inferiority, etc so having that "ego position" abased, can also be a good thing.  Humility also leads to the absence of vanity.  I realize that Angelina and I have been living in a "bubble of love", like Glenda the Good Witch, for several years now and although we really enjoy that,  it also feels healthy to experience the opposite now and then to appreciate our lives even more.  I feel that my level of compassion for others, as well as deep empathy has increased. I also feel a deeper level of healthy self respect knowing that I am less attached than ever to other people's approval.  I believe that this is merely AFGO and when I offered myself to this ministry and career,  I didn't put conditions on my service to humanity.  I said, "I am willing to do whatever will be of the most service to Angelina, myself and Humanity as a whole".  Although I certainly don't recommend this type of healing,  I do recommend that we all take whatever shows up for us, and use "the manure" as "compost" to fertilize everything that we want to grow in our lives.  I expect to be a much better man because of all this and I can't wait to see what grows from all this new compost.