Conservatise/Liberal/Feminine/Masculine-Equal But Not The Same

After listening to an audiobook called Gift from the Sea: 50th Anniversary Edition by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, I was re-inspired by her empowered femininity to recognize my own mix of masculinity and femininity as well as my own mix of conservatism and liberalism. I experience such a sense of beauty when I ponder the tapestry of humanity and how all these and many more threads are woven together in such infinitely magnificent ways.

Unfortunately, there is a battle still waging between masculinity and feminity & liberalism and conservatism.  I believe it boils down to a combination of two factors.  One factor is the Ego's desire to feel separate and view differences as wrong or at least not as ideal.  This is a shame since embracing the beauty of our differences allows for more beauty as well as allowing our own inner balance to thrive.  I know that while my dominant nature is masculine and liberal, I am quite aware of and comfortable with my feminine and conservative nature as well.  The other factor is when these natures become disempowered which leads to the desire to dominate the other natures.  

Black Lives Matter, Me Too, etc. which are powerful movements to create more equality can easily become disempowered and pendulum swing too far inspiring dramatic pushbacks and creating even less harmony.  That being said, even healthy empowered equality movements will get pushback from those that are disempowered and want to keep things the way they are, so as with most things, it's not black and white but more nuanced. The same is true of Left and Right ideologies.  We appear to have gone further left and right in politics than ever before. Alt Right, Far Left and all the different political groups like Progressives, Tea Partiers, etc. have made things more and more confusing.  The good news is, we have more choices. The bad news is, dramatic swings scare the heck out of folks more in the middle and especially folks that are on the far side of the other field.

Not sure where this is going but I get a strong sense that a starting place for healing is to recognize that Masculine/Feminine and Liberal/Conservative are 4 natural aspects of humanity.  In order for humanity to be fully self-realized, we must embrace them all.  I believe that each of us contains a blend of all of these to varying degrees. Yes we will all gravitate differently.  Still, there is no place for making any of these wrong.  We can call out virus' like Toxic Masculinity and Free Speech Suppression which ultimately make us weaker and more divided but not associate the virus with the whole.

Anyway, I would love to take this discussion further and inspire us to evolve more into the harmonious humanity we are destined to be.  It's going to happen eventually. I'd just like to be a part of it happening sooner than later.

From Catholicism, to Pentecostalism, to New Thought, and Back.

It's been a long spiritual journey and I'm sure it will continue forever.  I was baptized and raised Catholic and went to catechism. When I was 6, I started hanging with my next door neighbors, Perry Vincent and Celia Vincent and I liked them so much, I started going to their Pentecostal Church. I fell in love with church. I just adored the fellowship and the enthusiasm and was baptized again, fully under water and even spoke in tongues quite often.  They are friends of mine to this day.

At fourteen, I began to find the Pentecostal church too strict for me. I decided that I was going to have a personal relationship with God but not be a part of any religion.  While attending John Carroll Catholic High School my junior and senior year, I attended mass as well as played drum set for the charismatic service at St. Anastasia Catholic Church for 2 years.  I was still pursuing my own personal religion and enjoyed being of service to the music program.

Upon graduation, I wanted no more organized religion as it really didn't fit my spirituality. I began reading Wayne Dyer and other spiritual books.  I even designed my own religious symbol which was a star of David, with a cross in the middle surrounded by a circle. I called it "The Oneness of All Religions aka Armandism".  I was dating a dental tech so she made the symbol for me in the dentistry lab. I still have it.

Then in 1984, at 23, a dear friend Pete van der Lugt had gone to a different church and recognized lots of similarities to the philosophies I was studying and speaking of.  I said, "dude, I'm not religious so I'm not going to go to any church."   He said, "dude, you are the most religious person I know."  I said, "Dude, OK, I'll give it a try."  It was the Unity Church of Fort Pierce with Rev. Bob Marshall.  I fell in love with church again. I felt like I had found my home and immersed myself in Unity.  In 1990, I found Religious Science with Rev. Temple Hayes and expanded my spiritual pursuits even more. New Thought has encouraged me to pursue many different paths and practices like Vipassana meditation, Hinduism and Buddhism along with Course in Miracles and many different New Thought teachings, many of which are hybrids of different spiritual paths.  Pete and I are still friends to this day as well.

Then a few years ago, my cousin Hampton Davis, who is a priest in Lafayette LA, invited us to perform at his Gospel Catholic Church, Our Lady Queen of Peace.  We were honored and blessed but were concerned about our song list.  As we looked over the songs, we realized how much Catholicism was in our set list.  Three Ave Marias, Panis Angelicus, The Prayer of St. Francis, Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring, Pie Jesu, Amazing Grace, etc. We did three concerts and it was a wonderful experience for all. We also attended one of his masses and I felt reconnected to the church. We also did concerts at Lutheran, Episcopal and a non-denominational Christian Church as well as a very spiritually progressive Catholic Church called St. Joseph of the Forest in Silver Springs, thanks to Sister Diane Lemon who saw us at CSL Ocala and wanted her folks to experience us.  I could feel myself going back in time and embracing my Catholic roots more and more.  It was as if I had left a part of me and was now going back to get him.

Then I remembered a European trip Angelina and I went on in 2007.  We went to many European countries and visited many cathedrals and sacred sites.  We visited Knights of Templar sites and places associated with Mary Magdalene, the Cathars,  etc..  A weird thing would happen when I went into a Cathedral. I would start to weep deeply.  I was overcome by a mix of joy, sadness and reunion.  I never made much of it once I returned to the states.

Now I have been listening to The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr, (a Franciscan friar based in Albuquerque, New Mexico who was ordained to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church in 1970.), and everything is coming full circle for me.  I feel like he has woven my favorite and most resonant teachings of Catholicism, Pentecostalism, New Thought,  and Buddhism into a cohesive tapestry of Spiritual Unity.  

Shift Happens!

All In The Family and The Jeffersons...Old Shows Same America

I am watching these remakes for the 3rd time. I am absolutely amazed at how relevant they still are and mostly, how little has changed in 48 years in America.  All In The Family addresses racism, conservatism, liberalism, class war and a president that half of America thinks is a crook, doesn't care about America, acts like a king and is about to get impeached.  Archie even defends Nixon by saying "he's not interested in making money during his presidency because he's got plenty of money already".  I mean it's like a carbon copy of today.

What a brilliant way to present social, economic and political issues in a comedic way. Every character is lovable in their own way.  In other words..."there are very fine people on both sides."  We have ultraliberal Mike and Gloria and ultraconservative Archie Bunker sharing their points of view in an uncensored way.  It sounds exactly like conversations I see happening in private right now. So much name calling. Honkey, Ni$%^(ridiculous that I had to hide that word), Polack, Hebe, Colored Person, Meathead, Racist, Pinko, Commi, etc.  Just like now where we have so much name calling from the top down. Even now,  aggressive conservatives call liberals, especially candidates favoring some socialist causes, such as universal health care, as 'commis' with the intention to paint them negatively. Aggressive liberals label conservatives as racists, etc. with the same intention.  Both George Jefferson and Archie Bunker say bigoted things to each other and about each other's perspective races. Archie even says the blacks have as much opportunity, maybe even more than the whites which is something I continue to hear today.  Even the theme song, "Those Were The Days" is a mirror of "Make America Great Again!"  The beautiful thing about these old shows is that the family made it very obvious that they loved the person, even and especially when they did not love the rhetoric.  These days, friendships are ending, families are breaking up and more, just because we have not learned how to disagree better. Each side still thinks the other side is wrong and they are determined to get them to see the light.

We have progressed in so many ways yet in some ways, our growth was stunted in the 60s and we have never grown past it.  I think one of the major reasons we are so stuck is because of "rogue political correctness".  Political correctness is dessert to most liberals but poison to most conservatives, yet society has been forcing it down everyone's throats.  How wonderful that the original episodes did not censor the way we do now. As a compromise, the producers kept all the original dialogues but bleeped the most offensive things out since America has become so hyper-sensitive these days.

It's time to grow up America. We are not going to grow up if we are constantly protecting ourselves from facing our inherent differences.  We need to get it all out on the table and my observation is that the last 3 years have brought so much darkness to the surface, that we might finally be able to do the work that it takes to heal our wounds. The band-aid is being ripped off and the healing air of transparency is finally getting to dis-ease.

Here's the deal...we are all different.  We have different brains and lenses.  Men and Women.  Conservatives and Liberals. And all the other diverse people. We will have to learn to empathize with those that think, look and act differently.  We will never think like them but their reality is just as relevant to them as ours is to us.  Goodness will rise up in the long run and the quicker we get it all out in the open, the quicker we can move through it.

Trump is a Wild Card

Most likely the most divisive subject in the U.S. is Donald J. Trump. It is more important than ever to keep objective, open-minded, compassionate and emotionally sensitive if we want to be a part of the solution and not add to the disharmony. This morning, partially inspired by a conversation with a dear friend that sees things almost completely opposite than I do relative to President Trump, my awareness seemed to crack open a bit.  Here are some objective truths I perceive relative to our current Civil War/Cancer.

1. Trump is a Wild Card.
2. There are beautiful, loving, patriotic, kind, decent, open-hearted people that support his Presidency
3. There are beautiful, loving, patriotic, kind, decent, open-hearted people that do not support his Presidency.
4. There are hateful, unpatriotic, purposely divisive, closed-minded, selfish people that support his Presidency.
5. There are hateful, unpatriotic, purposely divisive, closed-minded, selfish people that do not support his Presidency.
6. None of us really know all the facts.
7. There is major corruption within our government and that includes those on the Left and the Right.
8. The Golden Rule is still Golden.
9. We have much more in common than not.
10. We must put humanity before patriotism, and patriotism before political ideology.

So, go ahead and do what is yours to do. Be an activist, share your concerns and vote your conscious. AND do so with an open heart and mind. Be sensitive to how you present your case. Remember, there are people on the other side of the field that are just as committed to justice as you are. Love is the answer to all problems and don't allow your passion to overtake your ability to Love. When in doubt, study MLK Jr or Gandhi.  Peace and Love was at the core of their activism. 

OK, done ranting for now.

My Dance as Director and Actor

My greatest paradox is how to balance my job as Director of Armand, and Armand the Actor. Today I was feeling some "toursick blues".  This is what gypsies sometimes get when they long to be back on the road. As the Actor, it is more fun if I play the part in the moment, in a very childlike manner, imagining that life is unfolding before my eyes.  Still, if I believe I am in control, another voice can come in and say "you better not screw it up". That is when it's really important to slip back into Director mode and remind the Actor, "dude, just play the part. Have as much fun as possible. Be confident and express yourself fully.  I am directing you and it's all happening exactly the way it's supposed to happen.  Your main job is to trust, love, feel your feelings and be as kind to yourself and others as possible given each scene. YOU are my only actor and I love and adore you. This is our movie and it's already Scripted."
Whew!  That's a relief!

America Has Cancer

This morning I had a waking dream. Imagine that we are part of a national family.  This family is called The United States.  Imagine that about 33% of this family is not involved at all in politics, but just focuses upon their lives, making a living, taking care of their personal families and friends. They may have opinions about it and may vote, but they are not attached either way. They also don’t despise Obama or Trump.   Imagine that another 33% of this family really loves Obama and believes that he was the greatest president of their lifetime and really made America Greater, and they despise Trump and his supporters. Imagine that the other 33% of this family really loves Trump and believes that he is the greatest president of their lifetimes and is really making America Greater ,and they despise Obama and his supporters.  That would mean that 66% of your family is at complete odds with each other.  This is a real challenge if we want this family to thrive and function as a healthy unit. That is like having 66% of our body plagued with CANCER.

Unfortunately, I woke up and was not given any answers.  So, I will try and come up with some and hopefully, you will join me in adding some as well.

1.     Don’t call those that despise Obama racists or those that despise Trump deranged.

2.     Stop using mean-spirited words like redneck, deplorable, libtard, snowflake, racist, Nazi, communist, anti-American, and idiot (used by the entire 66%).

3.     Call out those that are using mean-spirited words etc.

4.     Open your mind and heart to empathize with why the opposite 33% feels and thinks the way they do without insulting them with comments like “they only think that way because they want everything for free” or “they only think that way because they are bullies”.  (I admit this is easier for me since I am not part of the 66%.

Remember that a large part of the American problem is a result of the two-party system, which assumes that we are either liberal or conservative without creating a political space for nuance and full spectrum ideology. As a result, it has become a political football game where the only concern for 66% of Americans is how we can get the ball into the other side’s end zone.  Remember, Obama and Trump both represent leaders that are effective at, and committed to, dramatically moving the ball.

Thet Bright Side of Perfectionism

 

So many of us have this deep longing to be perfect. This typically leads to disappointment and self judgment. We see others appearing to be more perfect and successful and/or happier than we are. I would say that the biggest challenge that Angelina and I face, is the stress and anxiety associated with trying to be and do things perfectly. This morning, I realized that on some level, perfection is not just a goal, it is our true nature. Our true Self is already perfect and that realization is calling upon us to be recognized. Our human self will always be imperfect and well....human. That’s life and the human experience. It’s only when we get absorbed into our humans that we get confused. It’s like going into a theatre in perfect health, watching a movie about someone who’s sick and feeling like we need medical help. That is just the character in the movie. This whole earth experience is just a movie and our true Self is the one watching and guiding our human, actor self.  

 

 We are already perfect. We can’t get life wrong. It’s just a learning experience. From this place of knowing our perfection, we can guide our human in the most effective and fully adoring and accepting way possible. Sure we want the movie to turn out the way we would like. Still, by not allowing the flickering images to suck us in, we can stay unattached to outcomes and disidentified from the characters, which keeps us from judging humanity and life, most of which we have very little control of anyway. We can especially stop judging ourselves. Remember, we are much more affected by how we perceive what happens in the movie than we are about what actually happens.

 

Today I recognize my perfection in a more powerful way. Today I recognize your perfection too. Today I more deeply identify with the Guru while lovingly observing, guiding and adoring the Goofball.

Anger Is Like Urine

Anger is a lot like urine. Why do you think we call being angry "pissed off?"  One of the biggest challenges with being human is learning how to deal with anger.  To me it's pretty simple when compared to urine.  It must be released. It stinks. If we hold it in we get backed up and will damage ourselves.  It should never be released onto someone.  It should never be released onto ourselves.

A wonderful tool we learned from Greg Baer's Real Love teachings goes something like this.  When you a feeling angry towards another person, do not take that out on them.  Usually you will need to get away from them quickly. If it's someone close to you, you might say, "I need some time away for now. I love you as much as ever and I need to take care of something before we discuss this."  Find a neutral person who can hear your anger without taking it personally.  Let them know how you feel.  As they are present to you, you will be releasing the anger in a healthy way but not on anyone. If you start to beat yourself up, remind yourself that you are lovable even when you are pissed off.  As you release the anger, you allow yourself to get filled back up with love, acceptance and understanding.  From this place, you are better able to deal with the person you were previously angry with and maybe set some boundaries and/or discuss the situation in an effective way. 

Telling someone that you are angry, disappointed or resentful with them is similar to urinating on them. It will never make the situation better.  Find a way to release the anger in a clean, emotionally sanitary way.

Politics and Religion...Not so different!

It occurred to me today that politics and religion have a lot in common and one might even call someone's politics their religion.  Actually, religions typically have lots of politics in them and certainly follow ideologies.  There is even an old adage..."never discuss politics or religion at the dinner table."  I have made it a practice to discuss both any time I can because I feel that engaging in open, respectful, honoring dialogue about these two very personal ideologies is important in promoting Peace on Earth.

In Jan. 2016 while on a vision quest, I was inspired to create The Purple EVOLution Movement.  I began calling a person's politics their "political orientation" and having a prejudice towards another's politics as "political bigotry".  Since most of the people I am in contact with find it socially unacceptable to be prejudiced against another's race, sexual orientation or religion, I wanted to use terms that would bring politics into those arenas.

If we think about religion, it is a person's belief system around what is right and wrong, who they look up to, etc.  Political ideology is much the same.  Each side believes their politics are the best ways to run a society and each looks up to certain leaders from their side for guidance and srength.  The right loves to quote Reagan and Lincoln.  The left loves to quote JFK and Lincoln.  Lincoln is a wild card because he was a Republican and displayed liberal views and the parties shifted over time, but that's a whole 'nother story.

Anyway, I propose that we can be committed to our sexual orientation, religion and political ideologies without judging others whose orientation, religion or ideologies are different.  As an article I just found said....political bigotry is the most pervasive bigotry.  https://fee.org/articles/the-most-pervasive-bigotry-isnt-what-you-think/  As usual, your thoughts are invited and welcome.

Grieving Time Lost With A Child

I just turned 57 recently. For some reason, this has been my time to grieve all the lost time with my inner child and all the pain I have caused him through my thoughts, words and actions.  I know this is up for me because I am being called to make a deeper commitment to him/myself to devote my life to honoring his heart and innocence. He is extremely wounded.  I have felt bouts of panic and I realize that he has been screaming for my attention as uncovered wounding of the past has been brought to the surface, as a result of all the inner work I have done recently.

I apologize for all the times I was angry, disappointed and/or resentful of him.  I apologize for all the times I subjected him to people and situations that abused him. I apologize for being so focused upon the future that I missed out on time with him in the moment.  I apologize for making money, sex, validation, attention, work opportunities and people more important than him.  I recognize that he is my main priority and all he wants is to know, verified by my words, thoughts and actions, that he is my priority above all others.  I apologize for not recognizing his intuitive wisdom.  I realize that by honoring him, being present to him, listening to his requests for quiet time, play time and time in nature and, by reminding him how much I love, appreciate, adore, and respect him, I unlock the keys to a happy, peaceful, confident, secure, trusting, abundant, joyous, compassionate life.

I deeply commit to seeking first the kingdom of him and my higher self, and letting work, finances, external relationships and entertainment come after.  I deeply commit to "turning the other cheeks" with those that are unable and/or unwilling to treat him with kindness, support and respect. 

I forgive myself for all the pain I have caused him through my dysfunctional behavior.

I forgive myself for all the lost years with him.  I don't know how many I have left so I will make each year the most self-loving, peaceful, joyous, trusting, kind, present year possible. From that place I can't help but be a gift to Angelina, others, our career and the planet.  I welcome those of you who want to be a part of this journey with me.  For anyone that may want to share their resentment, anger or disappointment in me, I invite you to take your energy and words elsewhere.  You are no longer welcome in my child's world. 

If I Could Only Love Me to Way God Does

Have you ever noticed that it is easier to love others, God and Nature than it is to love yourself? Self Love has been a quest for me for over 20 years with intermittent success. I have noticed this...when I am loving myself, Armand feels really safe and happy. When I don't, Armand feels scared and sad. 

This morning, during my meditation, I felt an overwhelming sense of self love. I decided to slip out of meditation to ponder what was going on.  What came to me was this....in order for me to fully love myself, there must be space between Lover and Loved.  When I observe a child, nature, Angelina and/or the beauty of anyone, I can easily recognize the divinity and lovability of that which I am observing.  The challenge with loving ourselves is that we often don't create the space between the "I" that is loving and recognizing the beauty, and the "myself" which is being showered with the love. 

Meditation always takes me into observer mode. The challenge is how to bring that state of consciousness into the Matrix and my human world.  Most of my Spiritual Teachers have promoted the importance of becoming the "witness", "observer", etc.  Michael Singer asks us to "lean back" physically and in our minds whenever we get absorbed into our human drama and create some space so we can more fully love and guide our human from a clearer place.

When we can practice loving ourselves the way we would a child; recognizing our beauty, innocence, perfection and unconditional deservedness, we will begin to experience the Consciousness of Love that God/Source/Universe has for us and that is the bliss and awareness that our hearts and psyches are ultimately longing for. 

The Dark Side of Purple

Humble Pie time again. In January I was inspired to create The Purple Revolution Movement. I was told that I was to play a part in inspiring us all to become more tolerant and respectful of each other especially when it comes to political ideology.  Not only have I felt more "on purpose" than ever before in my life, I have also felt like I am actually making a difference in the world in an incremental, yet profound way.  What I did not recognize is that my EGO also has gotten in on the game of intolerance.

One of the characteristics of being Politically Purple is letting go of any chauvinism that one might have around their particular political ideology.  A great example of this chauvinism would be  "We are the party of LOVE. They are the party of FEAR." Or "We make decisions based on Thinking. They make decisions based on Feelings."  Each of these examples of chauvinism allow us to feel superior which is always driven by a unconscious feeling of inferiority.

This morning I realized that as I let go of my particular Ideological Chauvinism, my EGO found a new one to take it's place so I could compensate for my own feelings of inferiority.  Purple Chauvinism.  I am defining this as..."the pride in the fact that one has become respectful of others with opposing ideologies resulting in a sense of superiority over those that have not."  Boom!  Burn! F#$%!  Not Again!!!

So, as I eat yet another big fresh piece of Humble Pie. I energetically, as well as in writing, apologize for all the chauvinism that I have shown in my efforts to expose what I believe is destroying our country while not recognizing my own shadow here.  Game On!

www.facebook.com/purplerevolutionmovement

Schindler's Dilemma

This morning, while meditating and listening to a new Holosync Level 3, seven people came into my awareness. It was like a life review of sorts. Over the course of the last 3 years, Angelina and I have parted ways with all 7 of these beings. It started with my surrogate mother and has included two couples and 2 singles.  In each case, there was drama, hurt feelings, judgment, unconscious behavior and eventual increased freedom and peace. Still, even with the awareness that in each case, there was a vibrational mismatch, there has been an underlying nagging of..."I wish I had been able to be more conscious and loving. I wish I could've done more".  Angelina calls this....Schindler's Dilemma.  One of the symptoms of the inner nagging is that I have been "checking out" women lately, as well as objectifying them in ways that I believe is disrespectful to them and my sobriety.

Today I was flooded with Peace. The message I got was "none of the vibrational mismatch, drama, unconsciousness, hurt feelings, judgment, etc. has anything to do with who you or they really are. These are just the characters that your souls have chosen in order for each of you to expand your consciousness.  The reason this has been so hard on you lately is because a part of you has forgotten who you really are and has gotten caught up in the Matrix.  You forgot that all of this played out just the way it was supposed to AND this has no more significance than any other movie you may watch. Sure you will learn and grow from it, just like you may learn and grow from watching any other movie, but you need not believe that the movie is real or that your or any other character should have played their part any differently."

I really needed to hear and experience this now because so much of my old wounding has come to the surface to be released and forgiven and this feels like a Cosmic Garbage Truck has shown up to transmute it for me. On another positive note, several of our relationships have grown in intimacy and connection. We have gotten much closer to two couples that we've known for over a decade, as well as our Godchild and another dear friend of mine that I communicate with on a regular basis. We have also gotten much more connected to my older sister Star who has become such an important part of our lives.  Wow, I just realized that is 7 people. Can you say...."God is Balance?"

Anyone else relate to this? As always, your feedback and guidance is welcome.

Deeper Appreciation For My Most Painful Teacher

I have been working on forgiving my surrogate mother off and on for about 20 years. Each time I forgive her more, I feel better and more connected. A few days ago I got to a deeper level which included immense gratitude. 
Here's what came to me...

This woman was willing to be abusive: physically, mentally and emotionally to me in order to inspire me to evolve into the man I am today. She was willing to suffer the rejection and hatred that I felt for her many times in my life. She was even willing to suffer the rejection that she received from her own mother for the way she treated me. He mother did not allow her to come and visit her for the last 5 years of her life.  Even with all of this, she continued to offer me the treatment that my soul demanded from her.

What a sacrifice! What a gift to me! What a soul sister! My hope for her is that she can fully forgive herself for all of the abuse. I love you dear teacher/sister/Sacred Villain/Christ

We Share Our Bedroom With Too Many Lovers

Over the last 14 years, Angelina and I have shared our bedroom with many lovers. It began with a VCR. This was not a problem because in order to have an evening with her, we needed to walk or drive down to Blockbuster, pick out a movie and have it back by the next day.  Then we invited Oprah in.  This too was simple because she was only on once a day, could be recorded and enjoyed each evening, leaving the weekends open for other things.

Eventually things progressed to a DVD player and we found an internet "pleasure site" called Netflix where they would come to your house and pleasure you. As with all addictions, this one was progressive and eventually we invited in a new lover called TIVO who offered us a "ménage a troi" of recording Oprah and 2 other programs at the same time. Not to mention, the ability to watch streaming movies and documentaries 24/7.  It was becoming obvious that our bedroom had become an Orgy of stimuli and our frequency of love making was decreasing.  We had intimate talks about it and decided that we both felt super content with everything and didn't need to make any adjustments at the time. Oprah eventually moved on and although we miss her, we purposely have stayed sober from Cable.

Now enter my latest lover who has become a detriment to my meditation practice, our sex life, my ability to stay present and my exercise programs.  Enter.....Lolita Goodlove (LG) the Smartphone!  She has become the last thing I reach for at night and the first thing I reach for upon awakening.  She is such a generous lover, offering up Dopamine 24/7. She invites me into her inbox and offers affectionate texts, Facebook messages and comments constantly. (Studies have shown that texts, messages and comments produce Dopamine in the brain which is highly addictive.) 

This has gotten out of hand.  We are telling Lolita that she is no longer invited into our bedroom. Like our computers, she will stay downstairs where she can't compete with Angelina for time, presence and fondling.

Anyone else experiencing anything like this???

Heart Disease: What I Have Discovered and How to Prevent It!

OK, I have been learning about Heart Disease (HD) for over a year now and I have some ideas I want to share. 

HD is the #1 cause of death in both men and women. About 1 out of every 2 men and even more for women.
HD kills as many as 9/11 did every single day, 365 days every year.

OK, that's the bad news. The good news is that we can do something about it.
It's important to understand one of the ways in which this can happen. Here's what happened to me.

CAVEAT:  I am not a doctor or accredited expert so this is all just what is true to me.

1. The arteries get inflamed by poor diet, lack of exercise, inflammatory thinking and unresolved emotions. (in no particular order)

2. The intelligence of the body tries to repair these arteries by taking access cholesterol and patching the damaged area.

3. If this goes on too long, the cholesterol in the arteries (plaque) closes part of the artery.

4. Something like vigorous exercise, overheating (sweat lodge), emotional trauma, etc. can cause some of the plaque to dislodge (hemorrhage) and enter the blood stream to be removed.

5. The body sees this opening as a wound and sends red blood cells to patch it up.  The patch closes even more of the artery and voila! Heart Attack.

I almost had a heart attack on Sept. 20, 2013. Upon investigation, an angiogram showed that I had 55% blockage in my Left Anterior Descending Artery (LAD). Most don't know anything about this until 80% or more is blocked and they have a full blown Heart Attack and Die or need Heart Surgery immediately. I am one of the fortunate ones.

Genetics are not the cause of this issue but can contribute toward this by producing more cholesterol than ideal. This is my condition and is called Hypercholesterolemia caused by an abnormally high Lipoprotein Little A (LPa).

Cholesterol is not the cause but more of a symptom so when Americans reduced the amount of natural fats in our diet and replaced them with more grains, sugars, grain-fed animal products and processed foods (inflammatory foods), HD went up.

It's important to know that HD does not come from a broken heart. Broken hearts do not contribute to HD but a closed heart does. As long as the heart is allowed to feel and stay open, the heartbreaks will not cause any damage. Only by closing the heart around an emotion will there be heart damage.

In Conclusion: my regime includes:
Dramatically reducing grains, sugars and other inflammatory foods from my diet;
Adding more exercise to my day;
Meditating and relaxing more each day;
Allowing myself to play often;
Letting myself feel all emotions while holding on to none of them;
Taking cholesterol lowering supplements like Niacin, Fish Oil, Flax Seed, Chia seeds & Coconut Oil.
Taking natural blood thinner White Willow Bark.
Temporarily taking a low dose statin while I heal the inflammation as to not add insult to injury.
Taking 360mg of CoQ10 to compensate for it's depletion by the statin.
Seeing a lipidologist every 3 months to check my lipids, LP(a), kidney and liver function.
And eventually, getting another CT Scan to see how much more open my artery is.

Since I started this regime, I feel at least 100% better; I am able to do more vigorous activities without chest pain or shortness of breath; my blood lipids are balanced and my blood pressure is ideal. (I also carry nitro pills with me when I am doing activities that might trigger a hemorrhage to appease my overprotective bride) 

It's important to know that cholesterol, red blood cells and LP(a) do not cause HD, they are merely reacting to an unnatural condition (excessive inflammation) the only way they know how. 

Warning: when I do vigorous exercise or get stressed, some of the remaining plaque will sometimes dislodge. The minute I feel this I take a baby aspirin to keep the blood thin so it flows without those "good intentioned red blood cells" coming to patch it up. This allows the body to remove the plaque without an event.

Are You Flying Higher Than Your Consciousness Allows?

I am continually amazed at how everything is working towards Consciousness.  As a Kriya Yoga disciple, I am committed to full Self/God Realization.  I would like it to be this lifetime too but am not attached. Over the last 5 months, I have experienced some really painful relationship karma. One minute I'd be high as a kite, flying through life like never before and then, in an instant I'd fly smack dab into a mountain.  The message I got in my morning meditation is helping me to understand this in a much more simple, yet joyous way.

Imagine that we are like a butterfly that goes through many stages until our wings are fully developed and we reach "Butterfly Enlightenment". At this point we would be able to fly anywhere available with ease, peace and joy.  Now what if you are a butterfly, like myself, that is always exploring higher possibilities?  If we fly higher than our wings can handle, someone or some experience will painfully put us back down to our level of consciousness.  At this point we can either stay down, which would have the symptoms of blame, resentment, victim, attack and making the other person or situation wrong. Or, we can return to the cocoon, feel the pain fully, forgive everything involved and see where the pain is leading us. If we do that, we will grow stronger, more conscious wings and be able to fly higher than before.

I am so grateful to the people and experiences that have inspired me, often through force and pain, to go back into the cocoon of higher consciousness so I can continue to become a more powerful butterfly.  I often curse you at first because it hurts, but it has become abundantly clear what a gift you are to me and humanity.

How I Changed My Destiny

In the movie...The Adjustment Bureau, Matt Damon was able to change his destiny.  This brought up many questions for Angelina and me regarding Destiny, Fate and what can be changed and what cannot.  Then I got this in my inbox.

 

Today's Daily Kabbalah from Karen Berg......

Changing Destiny
Monday June 30, 2014
 

"It is said that there are three ways we can change something that is destined to happen to us. One is with prayer, the second is by giving charity, and the third is by changing our ways. The most powerful is the last. There are destinies we can undo when we make the effort to sincerely transform our negative attributes."

It appears that some destinies are unchangeable and some are not. I believe that I was destined to fail at romantic partnership as a result of addiction. I believe that I was destined to have a heart attack by my 53rd birthday.  I believe I was destined to feel small around my surrogate mother. All of these have been changed. By the Grace of God and lots of prayer, meditation, discipline and compassion for myself and others, I have managed to allow conscious committed romantic partnership to flourish in my life while simultaneously conquering my addictions. I also managed to divert a heart attack through changing my diet, adding supplements, taking a pharmaceutical and keeping my emotional heart open. In addition, I no longer feel small relative to my Sacred Villain who I now know was actually a part of The Universe's Conspiracy Upon My Behalf.
There is much more I have to learn and heal but that's just a few ways I believe I have changed my destiny. Then again, all of that may have been destined too. The Universe is a tricky One. LOL

How is Facebook Addiction like Food Addiction?

I am feeling very empathetic to people with food addictions. I have often had difficulty relating to people with substance addictions because my challenges have been more what is called "process addictions" like romance addiction and codependency. Still, I understand "addiction is addiction" and it is all  inspired from the same place of "emptiness and fear" which comes from not feeling loveable.


Recently, I have been noticing my compulsion to be on Facebook. At first I just blew it off because it is part of my writing, connection etc. It became very clear to me in the last week that I have been out of balance with my administration work, meditation and yoga practice.  I noticed that even though I let these important areas of my life fall back, my Facebook presence has been strong, daily and well cared for.


So, without putting myself or anyone else down, I realize how seductive Facebook is to me. As someone who puts "the yoga of relationship" above almost anything else in my life, it is obvious how a 24/7 network of connection, sharing and availability of people can be a temptress. This morning on my way down to meditate, I saw my computer and heard "just check me real quick. It will make your morning meditation that much better".  OMG, here I am on my computer and have not meditated. LOL


So why is this like food addiction. Food is available 24/7 for most people. It is beneficial in many ways. It can be very social. It can make us "high". If abused, it can cause problems, For me, giving up Facebook would be like giving up food. It is not an option. Just like giving up romance was not an option. I just focused all my romantic energies on Angelina. They are part of my human experience so like peeps with  Food Addiction, I must first admit I have a Facebook addiction and start taking steps to find my balance and health in this arena. Like food, it will not require abstinence. Like food, I need to have healthy balanced Facebook diet.


I am confident that I can create balance in this area as I have done with every other addiction or compulsion I have identified. It actually excites me because I love a challenge.


Anyone else relating to this??

It's Time To Love Your Human

OK, it's 2014 and many of us are experiencing The New Earth in a myriad of ways. I was told very clearly in 2012 that my part in supporting The New Earth is to go out and share with as many people as possible, how beautiful, innocent, divine, worthy, lovable, pure, and Godlike we all are at our cores.


Most of us have worked diligently to love our children, our parents, our Gods or Goddesses (or at least our lack of belief in them), and even our fellow human beings (with the exception of those that trigger us. LOL). Anyway, it appears to me that the new frontier is fully loving Our Human. Sure we've all heard "love your humanness" but I am talking about completely disidentifying yourself from your body, emotions and thoughts so you can actually love Your Human.


I began to dramatically love my human self in May of 2013 when I had finally received enough information through books, CDs, cassettes, lectures, sermons, workshops, retreats, advice, counseling, loving examples, self talk, depression, pain, suffering and ultimately meditation, to outweigh the old programming that I and others (mostly I) had brainwashed me into believing about my unlovability and "not enoughness". Miraculously, some space was formed between my True Eternal Self and My Human Self. I believe that it was this small space that made all the difference. I began to refer to my human self in the 3rd person as Armand where as before I thought I was Armand.  I began to see Armand as a being that had been entrusted to me to watch over and care for. From this perspective, I became much more loving to him because I no longer blamed him for all the pain, shame, loss and stupidity that I had endured. He was doing the best he could and much of what I had judged him for in the past was a result of not having as strong an influence in his life as I do now.


I am finding myself more and more recognizing my True Divine Being, as well as the True Divine Being of others, with the simple awareness that our Human Self is just that, Our Human Self, and is like a trusting, innocent child that we are to guide, love, accept and care for.  In the Real Love by Greg Baer material, it is said that "people just want to be seen and accepted right where they are and they will begin to feel loved."   Well, isn't it time that we do that with Our Human Self? How can you see someone unless there is space between you and them? 


Here's to loving Our Human Self as much as we have learned to love others.  Maybe even more since that will make it so much easier to love everyone and everything Just As It Is!