I just turned 57 recently. For some reason, this has been my time to grieve all the lost time with my inner child and all the pain I have caused him through my thoughts, words and actions. I know this is up for me because I am being called to make a deeper commitment to him/myself to devote my life to honoring his heart and innocence. He is extremely wounded. I have felt bouts of panic and I realize that he has been screaming for my attention as uncovered wounding of the past has been brought to the surface, as a result of all the inner work I have done recently.
I apologize for all the times I was angry, disappointed and/or resentful of him. I apologize for all the times I subjected him to people and situations that abused him. I apologize for being so focused upon the future that I missed out on time with him in the moment. I apologize for making money, sex, validation, attention, work opportunities and people more important than him. I recognize that he is my main priority and all he wants is to know, verified by my words, thoughts and actions, that he is my priority above all others. I apologize for not recognizing his intuitive wisdom. I realize that by honoring him, being present to him, listening to his requests for quiet time, play time and time in nature and, by reminding him how much I love, appreciate, adore, and respect him, I unlock the keys to a happy, peaceful, confident, secure, trusting, abundant, joyous, compassionate life.
I deeply commit to seeking first the kingdom of him and my higher self, and letting work, finances, external relationships and entertainment come after. I deeply commit to "turning the other cheeks" with those that are unable and/or unwilling to treat him with kindness, support and respect.
I forgive myself for all the pain I have caused him through my dysfunctional behavior.
I forgive myself for all the lost years with him. I don't know how many I have left so I will make each year the most self-loving, peaceful, joyous, trusting, kind, present year possible. From that place I can't help but be a gift to Angelina, others, our career and the planet. I welcome those of you who want to be a part of this journey with me. For anyone that may want to share their resentment, anger or disappointment in me, I invite you to take your energy and words elsewhere. You are no longer welcome in my child's world.
